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“This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, Thou cans't not be false to any man " (Hamlet by William Shakespeare, Act I, scene iii)
In Act I, Scene iii of Shakespeare’s Hamlet, we join Polonius preparing his son, Laertes who was travelling abroad with some very wise, yet sobering words. I get the feeling that Polonius knew his son very well and also his propensities or maybe Polonius was just a wise man as to the general character of human beings. Therein we find the following words: “This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, Thou cans't not be false to any man "(ll.78-80). This, I have come to conclude is the final deciding factor when tough decisions have to be made. As I continue to prepare myself and my family for returning home to Nigeria from the UK, it seems to get harder each day. Not because life is anymore difficult than it was the day before, but because one becomes much more attentive to what is going at once desired destination – Nigeria, unlike before. When I did not have returning home anywhere on my radar, I really could not care less about what was happening on the streets of Lagos or Onitsha. However, this has now changed because as a parent, you think about the future of your kids and providing the best possible platform for them to build happy and resourceful lives. A few days ago, I was musing to myself, “Will our kids thank me and their mum when they are older for bringing them to live in Nigeria or will they curse the day that decision was made?” This was the first time I had thought about things in that way but I tell you no lie dear reader, it did send a shudder down my spine. I must admit that a move into such a potentially volatile and fragile environment like Nigeria is made that much more cumbersome when ones spouse harbours misgivings about the venture. I refuse to be chauvinistic about the matter by thinking ‘Women eh! They only see the problems’ knowing full well that many a men only see the darker side of living in Nigeria. A few days ago, my wife was asking me why I wanted to return to Nigeria. Ponderously querying why we should leave a place where the children will go to school free of charge to a place where we will have to pay. My immediate response was “In the UK, the wealthy people send their kids to private schools instead of a Comprehensive or State school. If the non paying state schools were any good, why would the wealthy send their kids to fee paying ones? Are they that stupid? Standards seem to be higher, discipline generally is better and to the best of my knowledge, these tend to get a head start on their contemporaries” She then said something that made me reassess my reason for wanting to return home. She said “There are many people here who do not have to return to Nigeria in order to instil discipline in their children” (she went on to cite families that we highly respect and know very well who are also Nigerians). You see, this made me realise that there must exist more than just a desire to escape the heavy taxation, lack of societal discipline, racial discrimination or unfriendly neighbours as reasons to want to go back home. It cannot just be down to these and several others alike since such moral decadence and tribal discrimination exist in Nigeria also and it is not like I am desperate for anyone, let alone my next door neighbour to know me. In fact, I very much like my privacy and would much prefer the occasional "hello and good bye dear neighbour" model than people being all up in ones business. This then brought to mind the words of Polonius to me: “… to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, Thou cans't not be false to any man” My wife helped me to realise that perhaps my main underlying reason for wanting to return home was simply because Nigeria is HOME. It is where my head landed when I came in to this world. It is where my people are, it is the place where I feel most comfortable and at ease, it is the place where I feel like I can do the most to help people and the impact will be felt, simply put - Nigeria is in my heart, in my blood. Don’t get me wrong, the UK is sweet. There is the convenience of everything, I mean most things. I have been here since 1991 and have learned so much, gained so many experiences that I do not think I could have gained back home but my parents (God bless them for their goodly nature) never let me forget where my eventual destination should be – Nigeria. Everyman (and woman) must at sometime in their life stand up and be counted, follow the dictates and feelings of their best conscience. He or she will have to take the decision to navigate his or her own course through life without vacillating at every turn of circumstance. He or she must simply do what is believed to be the best and seek God’s favour on the rest. This in my opinion is what I gained from the words in Hamlet – to thine own self be true. So whether my kids thank me or not for setting sail as has already be done, that is their prerogative, they will have to grow up making difficult decisions and hopefully, we would have taught them to choose not just that which is most convenient but that which according to their best judgement IS the best option. In this way they can never be false to any man, because they are true to themselves.
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Exactly my thoughts, alot of peeple I know always have this bemused look on their faces when I suddenly come to life about Nigerian affairs, they dont understand how someone who left so young sit still so passionate about Nigeria and wanting to go back. Its so funny when I visit hear people say you know so much of what is going on. The amount of Nigerians in Nigeria oblivious to what is going on is quite astonishing. But I reasoned they have more pressing issues than knowing about current affairs.
Great articles you have on here, keep it up.